How To Survive the Spew of Toxic People. Avoiding People, Places, And Situations That Will Bring You Down
We all have people in our lives that act as cheerleaders and who are great for our self-esteem. We also often have people around us who bring us down. Or maybe it’s a particular place or situation that makes you feel inadequate or self-conscious. It’s important to be aware of these people, places, and situations that will bring you down. When you know who and what they are, you can guard against them and if possible avoid them.
Yep, I said it, Avoid Them.
I once met with a Minister about a Church Social Media Campaign and when I started to sit at the Coffee Shop table he said ” Why do women run around in Yoga pants and No Bra.” ~ Now that is what he said, but what i heard was “You look slouchy and have saggy breasts.” I had on dress pants and was wearing a bra but I often felt this person was giving me “back-handed” compliments.
People sometimes just have no real clue how to talk to people and sometimes their intentions are cruel. So Yeah, I avoid these people like the Swine Flu, They can be toxic.
Become Aware Of The Negative Energy
Your self-confidence takes the biggest hit when you are unaware of the person or situation you’re walking into. When you feel blind-sided, it hurts, it and it’s hard to recover and rebuild your self-esteem and courage. I like to think of how these people, places, and situations affect us as negative energy.
Your first task is to become aware of this negative energy and realize where it’s coming from before it hits you. By simply being aware you avoid being surprised. Don’t walk around expecting it because I firmly believe that you do attract what you are expecting, but there is no reason not to be mentally prepared for dealing with toxic people.
I keep Lavender and Lemon essential oils in my bag and if I feel myself getting pulled down by negative attitudes or criticism I will use one of these to lift my spirits and remind myself that opinions of others are not my business or my reality. Essential oils are my “Happy triggers” You can use whatever you are comfortable with but I have found that lavender often changes the mood, in a positive way, of those around me.
Guard Against It And Neutralize It Going In
Once you are aware of what or who is bringing you down, you can start to guard against it. The basic idea is to neutralize the negative energy that’s being sent your way. One of my favorite ways of doing this is to expect it going in and realizing what’s causing it. For example, if your cousin always gives you a hard time about your weight, it may help to realize that she’s putting you down because she’s not happy with her own life.
If you feel judged at a local event by a group of people, it helps to know that they may be doing it to make themselves feel better. Realizing this going in will go a long way towards neutralizing things. Of course another way to guard yourself is to do what you can avoid interacting with the people that bring you down and of course avoiding the places and situations that make you feel bad. And I know that there are times people or places cannot be avoided so remember you get to choose how you feel about the situation.
Never give up on yourself, keep choosing positive energy and self love even if you have to do it over and over. Deep Breaths and Counting are good ways to wind yourself down when dealing with the super toxic.
Adjust Your Life As Needed Until You Feel More Confident And Courageous
Last but not least, avoiding people, places, and situations that will bring you down is always an option. If you know a conversation with your sister will make you feel less confident, or you feel judged when going to a certain social gathering, avoid those people and places for now. I’m not saying you have to cut them out indefinitely. Instead, take a break and focus on building up your confidence and your self-esteem. When you’re ready, you can go back to spending time with those people or hanging out at those places and see how it goes.
Often the experience is completely different for you when you approach it in a confident manner. My go to mantra for being in these situations is a prayer of forgiveness for those who would cause me hurt and often I find as soon as I start to pray I am overwhelmed with pity for the person creating the discord because I suddenly understand their insecurities.
Have you ever avoided a place because you were made to feel uncomfortable? Tell us where in the comments!
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